Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Way You Make Me Feel

I am fascinated that of the 5 senses the olfactory sense is the one that makes the deepest imprint on our memory.

There's nothing like the smell of freshly cut cantaloupe to transport me 40 years back to my Grandma Blubaugh's country kitchen.  And the smell of an approaching summer thunderstorm immediately conjures up memories of Good News Camp where Colleen, Bill and I shared some of the best summers of our childhood (outside of Cape Cod, of course).

Adversely, a 'Waste Management' garbage truck passed me in traffic the other day and for the moment my mind went back to when I was 16 and my first impression of Haiti as I stepped off the small Florida Air 'puddle jumper' at the Port-au-Prince airport. Never before in my young life had I smelled such an odor, the stench of poverty in actuality.

Unfortunately for me, a garbage smell also reminds me of riding through the streets of Shenzhen, China in the company van.  For the 16 months I taught there, every morning, the masked women with straw-thatched whisk brooms would be sweeping the streets into garbage piles only to lift those same piles into plastic barrels.  YUCK!

Paul wrote to the church in Corinth in 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 about what are lives say to others. To some we are as vibrant as honeysuckle on a warm spring night or as delightful as a lilac blossom from a neighbor's garden.  To others we are as a stench of rotting waste piled in the streets in the humid tropics!

Well, these images and thoughts have been wafting through my mind this week as my friend (and present boss) Ibi returned to the small office where I'm spending my summer.  She was gone for 7 working days and it seemed like an eternity emotionally.  We have such a wonderful warm bond between the two of us!  In contrast, this week flew by as we 'knocked out' the work and enjoyed the shared time.  Even an hour's lunch seemed like a vacation to another place!

Yesterday she kept asking me about where I wanted to go for lunch and I didn't have any preference and didn't really answer.  She pressed me for a real answer even as we drove to where we thought we had agreed upon; when all of a sudden, she passed a restaurant which a friend had recommended, Tamarind.

"Do you like Thai?  Do you want to go there?"
"Oh yes!"  was my instant reply.

It was where we were to be for our Friday afternoon lunchtime.  The restaurant was decorated nicely. It had the feel of Thailand with napkin rings of dainty pink tropical flowers.  The salad was refreshing and filling.  We raved about it as we shared more of our lives.  The pad thai was ginger-spiced and peanut-y delicious! The lingering conversation over the plain white pot of jasmine tea completed the aura of our Thai get-away!!!!!!!!!

Driving back to the office I remarked to her how unique our relationship is.   She is old enough to be my mother and her daughters are about my age yet it's not one like that.
It has a shading of that but more than anything we are friends who simply enjoy each other's company.  I had a similar relationship with my own mom.

My mom was my best friend and we treasured all the moments we had together.  In the nine and a half years of her absence I have never sought to replace her with a mother figure.  Likewise, I haven't imagined finding another to share such a wonderful bond.  Ibi and I have that!  I'm so thankful.  It's easy.  It's special.  It's nothing short of divine!

For instance, we worked together this week, shared lunchtimes together and hadn't planned to see each other this weekend.  I had a friend over late last night and didn't get to sleep until past 2 am.  However, when the phone rang only 7 hours later on my morning to really sleep in I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer it.  I discovered it was Ibi and immediately wanted to hear what she was thinking.  She 'invited' me to go into work and do some unfinished things and then go to lunch together.  I didn't have to think about it.... SURE!  I got ready and was to work even before she arrived. =)

We got things done and went to the Festival Flea Market Mall to a Jewish deli for lunch where we found an available bench and 'people-watched' as we ate and chatted.  Next we strolled through the Hillsborough Antique Mall which was a journey across the continents to times past and present.  My head spun with memories and dreams as we browsed.  It was a pure delight to be with her!

Conversely, I have spent time with others who seem to just zap the life from me.  They take.  They exhaust.  They don't give.  They don't replenish.  Nor do they share with you.  It's so hard to have a relationship with them.  Every step with them seems to be so much work.  It takes more energy than you can imagine or sometimes want to give.  There's no reciprocality. There's no give and take. All these relationships in my life have ended up like the pile of trash swept by the Chinese women of Shenzhen: lifeless, wasted, spent, done!

So, my thought this afternoon is about The Way You Make Me Feel.  If you are reading this, more than likely, I've shared this blog with you because you and the friendship which we share are a lovely fragrance in my life!

(I sigh and take a deep breath)  Ahhhhhh..... the fanning pages of a newly-printed book.... a summer's late afternoon rain shower..... waking up on Thanksgiving morning to a roasting turkey.... the first night after the Christmas tree has been brought in the house.... fresh baguettes of bread baking across the alley in Marrakech....





Monday, July 26, 2010

"To Guard and Protect Your Heart"

While watching The Bachelorette (real meat to chew on, eh?)
Anyway, the one bachelor is famous for the quote "I'm here to guard and protect your heart."  He even got a tattoo on his arm to prove it with a heart, a shield and a rose.

My thought on that may surprise you (maybe not~considering I have a tattoo for a similar reason).  As the host of the show and the bachelor sat discussing it and the phrase was repeated over and over, I thought about guarding and protecting one's heart.

In  Proverbs 4:23  we are instructed to "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."   So, first of all we are to guard our own hearts and not let it up to someone else to do.  No one can do for you what you can do for yourself.  I have definitely (and still) struggle with this because it certainly doesn't come easily or naturally for me.

In the New Testament,  Philippians 4:7  says, "The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

So, the only thing outside myself which can guard my heart (and mind) is the peace of God found in knowing Jesus Christ and trusting His Word over anything else.

I need to think about these two scriptures a lot more, meditate on them and let them soak in more.

But WOW!  All this profoundness from watching a silly 'reality' TV show!?!?!?!?!?

If we're open to the Holy Spirit's work in our lives it can be done through anything at anytime.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Ninety

A woman in my church turns 90 tomorrow and is having a celebration for it at church.  Ninety!  WOW!!!!  I can't imagine being that old.  I'm not sure I want to live to be that old.  At least not the way I feel today.  I'm in process currently (but who or what isn't?). We are more like the ever-churning ocean tide more than a linear-flowing river.  I'm just not too sure where I'm going and who I am right now.  Remember that children's song, "He's Still Working On Me"?  Well, MAUREEN UNDER CONSTRUCTION!  =)

But since I'm thinking about my life and being ninety I decided I'd record (or maybe a better word would be 'capture') some of the big things I have wanted to or still desire to do in my life.  Having said that, these are MY DESIRES and I'm not so sure if they are HIS DESIRES...

Psalm 37:4 says to "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

First I need to learn to find my delight, my joy, my contentment, my focus on Jesus and then the rest will fall into place because what He desires will be what I desire.  (of course my paraphrase)

So, here goes, in no particular order, MY BUCKET LIST:

1. Being a missionary (Ever since my mom read The Book of Life to us at bedtime during our childhood years, I've wanted to be a missionary like there was in "Julieta's Bible" one of the stories she read over and over again at my request.  Another favorite was "Keith Gets Angry" (my sister's favorite) and (everyone's favorite) "The Grumbling Glasses".

2. Go to Africa (check~Morocco 2004) but maybe this is still yet to be fulfilled

3. Sing like my mom (check~I can't open my mouth in church without hearing her and at Christmas time my family always hears her in the pew singing along with them) Along with this one would be to have a singing ministry (either part-time or full-time).

4. Have a husband/companion/complement/best friend/soul mate.... yeh well, have been there, done that, twice, and failed.  Both times I was at fault.... for the simple fact that I was all about helping them out and forgetting that I matter too (of course until INTO the marriage).  If there is to be a third time (which they say "is a charm") HE had better have this bumper sticker on his vehicle REAL MEN LOVE JESUS.  It says quite a bit in only 4 words!

5. Teach (well, this one I've gotten right but I know I want to be a BETTER teacher).

6. Write a book (lots of ideas, some inspiration but much reservation~some day I'll be in print.

7. Know what it's like to be thin (this would definitely be a God-project because I'm so weak)

8. Live on the beach (check) However, I will always desire to live along water before anywhere else on earth.

Ezekiel 43:2 "and I saw the glory of the God of Israel coming from the east. His voice was like the roar of rushing waters, and the land was radiant with his glory."

Revelation 19:6 "Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:'Hallelujah!  For our Lord God Almighty reigns.'"


9. Have a child/children (to me this is probably the most impossible thing on my list) BUT GOD....


Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God."





Stripping

For some reason I'm 'hooked on' HGtv this summer although I don't have a house or a garden. Go figure! I like dreaming that someday I may have my own beautiful house with a $60,000 kitchen and a $35,000 bathroom....."Getting the Biggest Bang for My Buck!" =)

But the other day I found them doing a project on one of the shows which really 'spoke to my heart' and made me really think about something. They had a door that had been painted over several times in the course of the past 80+ years, the age of the house. They were restoring the floors and wanted the door to match so they took the door off and outside and used what they call 'furniture stripper' to take off the layers of old paint within seconds.

Now, I'm not a 'handy-kinda person' so this was the first time I had seen this done. I knew that you could get old paint off of something but didn't know how or how quickly.

As I watched the process unfold before my eyes, within moments, and watched how much a transformation was made, I was struck with the realization of how similar the scenario was to what God does in hearts and lives.

God takes the layers and layers of selfishness, wrong choices, bad decisions, and my own futile attempts to satisfy my heart's desires. He, with one sacrifice more than 2000 years ago and wipes it all away, to expose the fleshy heart which is the original me! 

I am the one created in his image (Genesis 1:27)
The one who is the apple of his eye (Deuteronomy 32:10)
The one whom he loves with an everlasting love (Deuteronomy 33:27).

I have so much to undergo in my exposed state!!!!

Only through 'stripping' me of myself, my past, my pain, my own passions can HE reveal, restore, repair and replace the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25)......
even if I allowed the locusts to eat from my life

It is in that 'exposed state' that I find myself presently in the scheme of life......
uncertain about the big picture...... but trusting the Master Craftsman.


Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Tropical Storm Bonnie

This morning, I waded through 3 inches of water to get into my SUV then crawled along I-95 at 40-45 MPH in blinding torrents of rain next to tractor trailers, trying to see 25 feet ahead at the blinking emergency lights of the car in front of me. Then all 5 of the overhead signs announcing delays and accidents had to say "Tropical Storm Warning In Effect" !?!?!?!?!? Ya think? No kidding? (sarcasm intact) So, suffice it to say.... my summer commute of 23 miles to Pompano Beach wasn't the usual joy this morning! =)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

My Muse Ibi: EAT, PRAY, LOVE

As I wrapped up a hectic day filled with phones and emails in the small office, I pondered what to do to fill the hours until Big Brother 12 came on at 8 pm. Hmmmmm..... I was having my (supposed) last conversation of the day with Ibi (my boss, but not really) and she challenged me to go do something different for me that I would enjoy and creep out of 'the box' I feel like I'm in (desperately alone and lonely).

So, instead of heading west to I-95 to get home I chose to go east toward US1 (my favorite in South Florida). No other road is like it! It has everything you could ever want, dream or imagine if you keep driving!!!!

Anyway, I decided that I would 'stop' at the huge 2-story Barnes & Noble just north of Sunrise Blvd and US1. I haven't just wandered around a bookstore in ages, no purpose to be there except to relax and discover a treasure somewhere.

So, I meandered around, starting with the magazines (quick reads and my usual attention span for reading). I picked up Florida Design firstly since (for some reason this summer I'm INTO Home and Garden TV). Next I found People magazine with Carrie Underwood and new groom Mike Fisher on the cover (must see the wedding photos~I am a hopeless romantic after all). Next, I gathered O magazine (for the advertised 265 summer deals) and lastly something like Real Simple magazine (can't even remember now~that's how important it was). I avoided the men's magazine rack with cars, sports and women....no one was there anyway! =)

On the clearance table was Julie Andrews biography, picked that up since I like her and usually enjoy biographies. As it ended up I only flipped through it to see the pictures!

And then on my way up the escalator to the chairs where I could 'chill' I spotted the book EAT, PRAY, LOVE which has a movie coming out in a few weeks with my fav actress Julia Roberts! Not been interested in it but thought I'd try it.

As it turns out, chairs and tables were available along the window where the palm trees swayed from the breeze outside and I got comfortable in an old schoolteacher's kinda chair. Since EAT,PRAY,LOVE was on top of my pile I started there and barely got passed it. Inside I found someone else going through something like me, a separation and divorce that doesn't seem to come to an end, a failed love affair (or 17 in my case~LOL), and a writer who loves to travel and believes the world is open for exploration although deep inside she's never come to terms with her own heart, mind and life.

I was sucked in and kept reading and reading and enjoying! Before long 90 minutes had gotten away from me and I figured I had to pry myself away from this delight so as to at least give the others in my pile a chance.

The biography was only her early-life... not interested. Even the pictures were pretty lame for me so I'm glad I hadn't expected too much.

Next, the magazines (can you tell I'm a goal-oriented person who just couldn't walk away from the pile).... So, Florida Design (expected to be my divulgence was a mere flip of the magazine pages inside of 5 seconds). Done! Next, Carrie Underwood wedding photos (thankfully, found the 5 pages with lots of pictures and little copy). Too pink for me, although I like pink! Done!
Oprah... want to love her but gotta pass, too (something) for me! Did flip through the 265 summer deals but didn't find any worthwhile for me. I can't save 45% on a $398 purse. I like 'bags' but I have my standards and $199 for a purse right now is not where I'm at. (I really need to get back to EAT, PRAY, LOVE).

I replaced the two hand-painted greeting cards with lighthouses on them for $2.95 each. Don't need them. But the momentary walk down memory lane fondly remembering the times with my mother spent at Ponce Inlet light, Jupiter light (one of my fav's), and Key Biscayne light was refreshing and oh so comforting. A different time. A different life.

I waited at the cash-wrap listening to the guy on his cell phone decide between 2 Arabic phrase books and noticed the young girl try to make up her mind about which China book to get for traveling. But this time, the only trip I wanted to take was home to explore EAT,PRAY,LOVE some more and have a glass of red wine with some crusty French bread dipped in olive oil and a side of strong cheese! Ahhhhh my Thursday afternoon trip to delight!!!! (Before Big Brother of course).

I got in my car and could barely contain myself bubbling over to phone Ibi back and tell her what a delightful time I had with myself, by myself.... all because she challenged and encouraged me...        she must be my muse! And I'm thankful for her.